Stategery

The way I punish the non-tippers or the change-only-tippers is to methodically, and with obnoxious lethargy, peruse the money in my change purse.  I begin by merely staring at the money, as if to give them a chance to just say, "keep it, have a nice night."  After that fails, I begin thumbing through the bills and jingling the coins.  Next, when it's obvious they are not tipping, i begin the slow count of their change. Bill by bill-- coin by coin-- I slowly recite it back to them.  I'd be remiss to not mention my playing ignorant of their total (I do this by staring at the receipt blankly once more, or asking them the total, again, if they're holding it).  Lastly, I pretend to not know the most simple arithmetic.  I count aloud back to them, slowly and loudly.  "Your total was 15.25, out of 20, so that's--let's see-- (thumbing bills, jingling coins)--what's the total again, sir, 15.25, okay, so, that's one, two, threeee, fooour, and (commence slowly counting back the seventy five cents."  I figure if they're not going to tip, then they're going to earn that right.  Remarkably, I have admitted this philosophy/strategy to fellow drivers and found that it is commonplace.