The worst male cheerleader

No group of people are under scrutiny more than the male cheerleader. Say what you may, male cheerleaders are, generally speaking, more athletic than the average bear. That isn't the case for my fellow driver Joseph. The one thing Joseph loves doing more than gluing his eyes to a seemingly endless barrage of text messages, is absolutely nothing. The man has garnered the reputation around the washing machine as being the laziest human ever encountered. His lackadaisical demeanor matches his physique: big face, unexplained gape, waddled gait, girth.

His laziness has yet to affect me; therefore, I treat him not as the lazy periah that my workmates do, but rather as an intriguing subspecies of worthless male cheerleaders. Joseph, who inexplicably comes to work on his days off, always does so donning a cutoff version of a male cheerleader t-shirt. You would think that Joseph would be full of vigor and pep?
Joseph, has only initiated two conversations with me so far. First conversation starter was: "My uncle got a crotch rocket the other day, it gets 50 miles to the gallon and the insurance is only 15 bucks a month." The second went like this: "My uncle and I went to the tough man contest at the fairground this week, it was bad."

I'm itching to go see him in action in the fall. If his comrades are of the same stature then this dilapidated cheer squad is one to be viewed.